We took Jack to the doctor the Monday after Easter when he was 6 days old to get his weight checked and he was back to his birth weight. They said everything else looks perfect! Before his appointment I dropped the kids off at a nearby park with a friend Sarah to play at the park with her kids (who were on Spring Break), then she took them all out for lunch and frozen yogurt, then back to her house for the afternoon. She brought them home at dinnertime and brought us a fancy delicious dinner too! I was able to get some much needed rest and quiet time that day and Brandon was able to get some work done. It was such a wonderful gift she gave us.
Before my mom came we had a couple days when Brandon went back to work so we were on our own. We managed. Brandon left late so he kids were really only awake for a few hours and then after lunch they slept for a few hours and Brandon would come home early so it wasn't too bad.
(Jack 4 days old)
The Monday Jack was 6 days old, that night Brandon had a softball game so he got the kids in pjs and teeth brushed and left so I did books and songs. It was only half of the bedtime routine but I was still proud of myself for doing it on my own :-).
Jack furrows his eyebrows a lot. He has long eyelashes and long feet. He has the cutest nose. He's particular where his hands are positioned. He's been a good sleeper and eater so far. At night he wakes up every 3 hours to eat and then goes back to sleep. During the day he stays awakes for a little while after he eats and is happy and then sleeps.
Though newborns don't seem to give intentional affection, I interpret (or maybe imagine :-)) that when he nuzzles his head toward me and snuggles closer when he's falling asleep, or grabs onto my shirt or finger, or smiles when I talk to him (while he's sleeping), that he's showing his love for me. Not that I need any affection- just knowing he's completely dependent on me and that I get to take care of him and help him feel safe and happy is incredibly satisfying and rewarding, possibly one of the best feelings in the world.
Jack joining us for bedtime. Josh loves snuggling Jack, lying next to him, nuzzling him, holding him.
Jack 10 days old
The newest Cavalier! 1 week old
The kids got these new headphones in their Easter basket (to take with them on the airplane when we go to Utah) and they love them. They plug them in and sing their favorite songs at the top of their lungs and it's so hilarious to listen to (since we can't hear what they're listening to in their headphones, just them singing), especially when they do it at the SAME TIME. It's awesome.
Jack has always been really strong, holding his head up and moving around. When I tried taking a few newborn pictures of him and laid him on his tummy on the Boppy pillow, he for reals scooted himself forward and was basically crawling... it was hilarious. When I put him in the Moby Wrap and it's supporting his neck a bit he holds his head up so good and has this look on his face like he knows it and thinks it's so cool.
Jack 2 weeks old
I just can't get over the happiness from holding a sleeping newborn and just staring at them. They say "sleep while the baby sleeps" but I just want to stare at him sleep :-)
Since my mom left Emma asks me multiple times a day to put Jack down so I can hold her. It breaks my heart. But sometimes she wants to hold Jack and says he's so cute and little but then she's done :-). It's been hard on our own. I feel like a failure and can't be everything to everyone, or anything to anyone. I need and want to take care of Jack and hold him and soak him in but that takes up most hours of the day so it's really hard to do anything else like take care of, entertain, hold, snuggle, play with, feed Josh and Emma, let alone do much for myself. Poor Brandon has come home from work to me crying because I managed to put the dinner in the oven that someone ELSE gave us and I was barely able to take it out of the oven but I just couldn't dish it up and make dinner happen. And there has been so much more crying and fighting and yelling. I just feel so non-functional, and tired, and hazy. Just how my milk comes in when Jack cries and I can't control it, when the kids cry I start crying too and can't control it. My emotions are close to the surface (from exhaustion? hormones?) so I cry easily. And once I start it's hard to stop.
I cry about good things too. Like when the house is silent when everyone is asleep and Jack smiles really big in his sleep. Or when anyone gives me a big hug. Or when friends bring dinner. There are so many great moments happening every day. For starters I get to hold my darling newborn most of the day which makes me happy. The kids have each other and really are the best of friends so though they fight and make each other cry (sooo much it feels like sometimes), they also make each other laugh and have so much fun together too. They really are the best of friends.Josh helps Emma with a lot and takes such good care of her- he helps her get food, put on her shoes and tries to cheer her up if she's sad (which he probably causes half the time :-)). Josh has been especially affectionate with Emma lately too- he randomly gives her hugs and holds her hand. Josh is really helpful- he rotates laundry for me and helps put clothes away, he helps empty the dishwasher, he helps clean up. And when I say I need to sleep they go in the basement on cue and play for awhile letting me rest. I just try to give them hugs and snuggles as much as I can and hope they forgive and forget everything I'm failing at or not doing (like taking them to the park when they ask 20 times a day).
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