It's summer!

So Trevor left Sunday morning and I just started feeling anxiety. Brandon wouldn't get home til really late the following night so I knew I'd be one my own the next 2 days and I missed Brandon and just started feeling major anxiety. I got the kids to bed that night and then all of a sudden had an anxiety attack. I Skyped my sister Abigail and she helped me through it. It was really scary and I'm so lucky I had her to help me not feel alone and to help calm me down and feel a little better. She was heaven-sent. The next morning I felt the anxiety again pretty bad but I called Brandon and talked to him for quite awhile and that helped. Then we went to our friends' the Brown's house for Memorial Day dinner that night so I wasn't alone and it helped me feel better. And then Brandon was home before I had to go to sleep (going to sleep at night was still causing me anxiety I think because I'm scarred from that bad week when the kids woke up in the night from throwing up). After a few days of Brandon being home and being able to talk with him and have him around I started feeling a little better. I read a book my brother highly recommended called Daring Greatly which has really changed my life. It has opened my eyes, taught me new concepts like shame, vulnerability, shame resilience, etc., it's inspired me to live my life more real and authentic (Wholehearted), to have more self-acceptance, to feel like I'm enough, to love others more fully, and it's taught me many many other things that will take some time to learn and fully incorporate into my life and make them habits and some things that I'll have to work at every single day the rest of my life but it's worth the effort because I've seen such a difference in my life in just the week since reading it. I've felt more joy. Less stress/anxiety. I'm going through some self-discovery to live more authentically.

Brandon is on a city league softball team and has games every Monday night. If it's an earlier game then we try to go watch him. It's fun to go cheer him on.

Our neighborhood pool opened Memorial Day weekend so we go to the pool most mornings. Jack takes his morning nap then so I can swim with the kids. It's great.

Memorial Day dinner with friends


Jack 8 weeks old

Emma's mad face :-)

Josh fell asleep while he was doing a puzzle on his bed during quiet time.

Taking some selfies during quiet time.

Josh giving a talk in Primary